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6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Asshole)

Snap Some cash. Not filthy-rich cash, but still: cash.

6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Asshole)

Photo via Stocksy Our culture values hard work above all else. We're told over and over again that if we just grind away, get shit done, and don't waste time that eventually we'll experience the joys of wealth and success.

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But as we all know, that is bullshit. Basically everyone I know works until their fingers are raw, yet still don't have enough to scrape together to get a bag of chips at the bar on Friday afternoon—whereas there are loads of people how to make fucking money get thousands and thousands of dollars for doing fuck all.

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I tracked down some people who have received a shit-ton of money without doing any actual work, to find out how you can get rich without having a job. Dan: Basically, I started saving money when I was a little kid. I was non-consumerist, growing up with grunge—like, why would I buy anything?

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I was thinking about that when I was six years old, so it's always been a part of me. I would go to school, and my mom would give me six dollars for lunch, and I would have a small lunch and save one dollar or something. Or birthday gifts: I would save away these pennies, quarters, dollars, and never really spent much money.

I'm not interested in money or interest, which is fortunate for me.

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I'd tried to understand the stock market—look at it, hear about it, even tried to make a fake portfolio—but I never gave a shit. Then I thought, The only way I'm gonna figure this out is if I put some skin in the game. I like to do things that are morally justifiable—I wasn't gonna be investing in Exxon or anything like that.

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Fuck those guys. At that time, I was living in Japan.

Multi-millionaire at 27. What I learned.

It was before it had come out. It's probably the first product Apple have announced before they were going to sell it.

There were times everybody told me the money making niche was the toughest and it would be impossible to build a blog in it with no money, and now I run one of the most badass internet marketing blogs online… …with zero guest posting, link building, cross promoting, paid advertising, or any other promotion technique marketers usually do. How did i do it? People said I should build links to rank, I said hell no, others should build my links, and I should become famous… now I have numerous pages on the first page of Google and have built zero links. Remember those times before tablets came along? You know best what is good for you, listen to yourself first, always.

It was six months or ten months before it came out, and I was reading it thinking, This is great. I'd always used Apple products because my dad is in the art and advertising industry, and I spoke to my friend Amir and he said, "This is going to redefine what a phone is.

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My dad said, "I like your ideas, I like what you're thinking, you've done good analysis into them—but Apple produces stuff other than intellectual property. So why don't you flip that? But your dad sounds smart. Yeah, and this was orsomething like that.

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So I ended up doing that. So I got into stocks, started following them. A good rule of thumb for investing is 10 percent return per year is a really good, solid investment. My Apple investment, including dividends, has gone up over 1, percent. So it's averaged over percent a year.

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That's astronomically more than anybody could expect. What has it enabled you to do?

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I don't want to have no money. If I didn't have the investment, I'd be working more.

I've invested more in Apple, too. Also, as a doctor, it has enabled me to work my hours and jobs that I want to work. Who is your next scoop, then, for people wanting to make big money?

Who gives you that Apple feeling?

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That's tricky, because right now it's a world of startups. So these companies are massively over-valued. The best thing is personal experience.

Every day, enterprising dickheads come up with more and more ideas to get rich through shady means. And goddammit, they're working. Never before in human history has it been so profitable to be a small-minded jerk, as evidenced by successful business stories like Good, because those days are now forever, due to the Internet's collective inability to not beat a joke to death.

If you see something amazing that you really like, that your friends really like, which isn't everywhere yet, invest in that. Those are the advantages that you as an individual have.

You need to try and see what other people don't see. Saying that, I still say Apple is a solid investment: It's under-valued for what it is, makes loads of money, pays a good dividends rate… but it's not going to have that exponential growth ever again.

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VICE: Can you describe what happened to you, your initial reactions, and how you felt about the whole thing? Mary: It was November,and the second ever National Lottery draw, so everyone was buying tickets, but no one really knew how it worked. My husband bought a ticket with a line for each member of the family, and he made up the numbers in a random way.

We thought it was just a good way to contribute to the good causes and never thought for a second we would win much over a tenner.

No inner game fluff talk. This post gives you all specific industries and tactics where millionaires are created. Imagine if you had a million dollars? Why You Should Make as Much Money As Possible Despite all the bullshit you hear, you should do everything in your power to get as much money as possible.

For this reason, we never watched how to make fucking money big Saturday night show, but our kids were full of enthusiasm, and we were at a friend's home having dinner when they asked if they could check the numbers. After a while they burst in saying, "We've won some money! Then when we checked, we discovered that we had five numbers and the bonus ball. Still having no real idea of the value of the win, we phoned the lottery hotline binary options start trading without investment were staggered to discover that it was a considerable sum.

How to make fucking money called all our friends, told them to come over, and bought every bottle of fizzy wine in the liquor store and partied for a long while.

Then followed a tense Sunday where we were terrified that we would mislay the ticket before Monday, when we went to the Camelot local office where they gave us a check. They offered financial advice and counseling, but we elected to be anonymous so no begging letters came.

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